The Truth At Last!

Being a straight person myself (you at the back, stop laughing at me!) I was unaware of the full text of this Gay Agenda but thanks to my friend Gavin, whom kindly passed this on, I am now enlightened.
-----------

Many of you have heard Dr. Laura, Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell and others
refer to the "Homosexual Agenda" but no one has ever seen a copy of it. A
friend of mine recently obtained a copy directly from the Head Homosexual.

At long last we will all know exactly what is on this "Homosexual Agenda" I
certainly hope it will assist all of you.


THE HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA

6:00am: Gym

8:00am: Breakfast (oatmeal, egg whites, mimosas)

9:00am: Hair appointment

10:00am: Shopping (Saks, Barneys, Pottery Barn)

12:00 noon: Brunch

2:00pm: Assume complete control of the U.S. Federal, state and local
governments, as well as all other forms of world government, destroy
all healthy marriages, replace school counselors in grades K-12 with
agents from the Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels, bulldoze all
houses of worship, secure total control of the Internet and all other mass
media.

2:15pm: Mud masks and beauty rest to prevent wrinkles resulting from
the stress of world conquest

4:00pm: Cocktails

6:00pm: Dinner (consomme, salad of endive, arugula and radicchio
with a balsamic vinaigrette, PouillyFuisse)

8:00pm: Theater

10:30pm: Dancing

Midnight: Return home for meaningful overnight relationship

Things We Already Knew in the News Today

Drugs Cheaper Than a Night Out in the Pub We noticed.

Exercise and Dieting Reduce Fertility in Women (this is WHY we do these things). This has been known for decades because of Olympic athletes!

I implore you to please evict Jade from the Big Brother house. This is serious.
I’m contemplating giving away the tv sets.
Or hurting it beyond repair.
This may put some strain on my marriage.
Do it for my marriage!
PLEASE!


Whingy Fat Uneducated Cow Who Looks Like My Loathed Ex-Flatmate

BLASPHAMY

Interesting web site mocking religion. Bizarrely also has an amusing piss take on Metal that is even funnier. Be warned this site is obviously done by a pissed off teenager stuck in a Catholic High school...I know his pain!

Why I love my loved-up nights on ecstasy from the Guardian. What We have known for years:

"It is often argued by anti-ecstasy campaigners that the drug has dangerous side effects, such as depression, memory loss or paranoia.

In fact, several prestigious scientific magazines have recently shown that the research which suggests this damage is flawed.

There is no reliable evidence at all for long-term damage - in sharp contrast to cigarettes, alcohol and fatty foods. Harmful short-term effects appear to be mainly due to either taking bad pills (which may have been mixed with other substances), or misuse regarding the ecstasy pills themselves.

If ecstasy were legalised and sold with clear guidelines, Leah Betts would be alive today. I'm sorry if it seems insensitive to her family to point this out, but if we do not, there will be another Leah soon.

She died because she did not know how to take ecstasy. She had heard that you need to drink lots of water. But, because of the then-Conservative government's policy of not properly informing teenagers and ecstasy consumers, she did not know that this applies only if you have been dancing an awful lot, in a hot and crowded club, and therefore sweated so much you might dehydrate.

Leah sat down, didn't move much, and drank extremely large amounts of water. The consultant who treated her said she was effectively suffering from 'water intoxication'. Misinformation about drug use killed her, not the drug itself."

Friday Five


I didn’t have time to do this on Friday and last weeks was crap so I didn’t do it but here is this weeks!


1. What's the last vivid dream that you remember having?

UGH. I get what is called ASP or Awareness in Sleep Paralysis, which is the most terrifying thing you can experience. My last one involved thinking there was someone in my bed, I felt them lie down. Then I realised there was no one there. It started walking up and down the bed, and then I thought it was the cat. But I don’t have a cat. Then I freaked out because there shouldn’t be anyone in the bed… but I couldn’t move or open my eyes. I tried to call Darian but my throat was constricted. I kept struggling against my body to try and move it but it wouldn’t. There was something in my room that shouldn’t be there and there was nothing I could do. The terror is beyond anything I experienced before; it was less frightening when I was assaulted outside my flat.

I’ve had many of these. The worst one was when I saw man climb in my window and started choking me, I couldn’t do anything about it and it felt so real but the terror level was surreal. I snapped out of it and I was still gasping for breath and my neck was sore all day.


2. Do you have any recurring dreams?

The ASP is recurring but they vary, although usually it’s someone coming to murder me or a dark spirit hovering in my room.

3. What's the scariest nightmare you've ever had?

I once dreamt Darian was possessed and was going to kill me. The dream was incredibly surreal and vivid. I remember waking up and staring at the fire alarm on the ceiling. I could hear Darian in the other room. He seemed to be repeating something over and over again and it seemed a strobe light was on. I got out of bed and got tangled in my sheets.

I stumbled into his room. He was sat bolt up right on his bed with the lights off and the curtains open. The strobe light effect was coming from outside; a street light was flickering madly. He was staring straight ahead and chanting in a strange language but it was a chilling voice he was using, not his own. When I tumbled in his head turned mechanically towards me. He never once blinked. He moved his legs over the edge the bed and stood up. He kept chanting only more intensely and why the coldest eyes I’ve ever seen he focused on me. I knew he had a knife and I new he was going to kill me. I got closer and closer and I could not move. I was kneeling on the floor and looking up at him as he loomed. I realised I was still dreaming and tried to wake up before he killed me and I did. Again, the terror of this dream is unbelievable. I didn’t want to go to the toilet because I was afraid to go past his room.

I was shaken for the rest of that day and he had to make it worse by sneaking up behind me, after I told him about it, while I was on the phone, which I’m sure he regretted because I became hysterical and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day.

4. Have you ever written your dreams down or considered it? Why or why not?
Yes, cause they said you should. It was dumb and too much effort.


5. Have you ever had a lucid dream What did you do in it?

Yes but I can’t remember. I think I made everything into a garden of paradise.


Friday

Gavin and I downed half a bottle of vodka before we headed to Popstarz for it’s 7th Birthday party. The whole gang was there Lvpl St David, Albert, W David, Dharma, Darian, Lloyd, Khalid, Stuart, Ruth, Que, Craig, Tommy was back from San Francisco and loads more of the regulars.

From the get go it was a mess. It was packed because Brian Molko from Placebo was going to be Djing and his hangers on where swarming about like a plague of locust. I found a girl rushing off her face on MDMA in the loo and I helped her chill out, vomit and cool down. She was 17 and it was her second time doing drugs. I went with her to find her friend and as a reward they gave me some hash. Nice.

We were all incredibly drunk and all I remember was getting caught between Ruth and her boyfriend Paul having an argument. It was ugly.

When they cleared the stage for that evenings give away Lvpl St David kept jumping on the stage and dancing by himself in front of all the punters as security scrambled to keep him off. In the end Que and I help on to him to stop him before he got kicked out. Then this giant spacdman came on stage and danced around to promoto Purple in the Park. For some reason this purple thing went down really well. Better than Brian.

Brian Molko’s set was interesting but eventually got rather boring and tedious. It was flat and I wanted to rock out to the usual indie and pop. I kept running up to the Rubbish Room but it was too packed in there.

Que and I found Lloyd in the toilet and he was just not being coherent but he was ever so amusing. Except that we had to help him stand. He decided he liked Que and we should keep her. Then he changed his mind. Then he ran away to find Khalid. Khalid took him home.

By 3 the tedium of Brian’s set made us all leave and when we got outside Lvpl St David was waiting for us like a defiant little boy. He said he left popstarz, he doesn’t remember why, without his bag so didn’t have his keys. When he tried to re-enter the club the bouncers literally threw him out and he had massive cuts in his elbows. I went back inside to try and find Simon (promoter) or Carl (manager of the scala) but no luck. Darian and I took him, Que and Hans back to ours. We played some music, finished off the vodka, and devoured chips with loads of ketchup.

Que and I stayed up talking until well past 5am.

At 6 am a very drunk and scantly dressed David stumbled into my room, looked around very confused, turned around and went into the toilet. Just glad he realise where he was before it was too late…

Saturday

At about 10 David stumbled into my room again but this time to crawl into bed with us as his bed had deflated. We all pretended to sleep but this was futile so instead we chatted and waited for Darian to carry through with his promise to make us all breakfast in the morning.

Fortunately for him he did and it was gorgeous. Yummy! We all sat on my bed listening to All Saints and chatting. Hans and David left and the rest of us headed for Camden Market.

Camden Market



I lived in Camden for all of 1999. I cannot believe how much it has changed since there. A total sell out! Some of it is an improvement as it is not as seedy as it was once but it also lost some good qualities because of it.

We did find a nice Argentinean stall where I had an empanada and chatted to the owner about “La Nacion” (Argentineans often refer to Argentina this way, particularly when referring to political or economic issues). It’s rare to find Argentineans in London and this was like a breath of fresh air. The empanada was pretty good too. I had it with some chimichurri sauce….Mmmmmmmm

Darian wanted to eat too but was scared off by the oriental food sellers who kept shouting at everyone in little girl voices “come try our food. It very good! Come try! Come try!”

I don’t know what was going on atCyberdog but there were all this children in the lobby dancing very badly to house music and I was embarrassed for the entire scene.

There was a gorgeous 60s shop and it had all these awesome Twiggy dresses that I loved but where 70 quid! I hate being poor. I would look great in one of those!

The hangover started hitting us so we decided to eat yet again, this time vegetarian chili on tortilla chips, which I managed to spill all over my dress. Go me.

Unfortunately we burned out of energy really quickly after Darian took us to look at every single t-shirt in the marketed and we went home early just to pass out.

I was feeling awful so I missed the party at Albert’s boss’s house and stayed in to dye my hair and watch Eurovision with Darian. This was dire. I’ve never seen Eurovision before, and although I can now understand the appeal I hope never to witness it again. Bad accents, bad costumes, some bad singers, poor choreography and cheesy lyrics. Oddly compelling viewing but having to watch the voting for an hour was really boring.

Big Brother was terrible, live and unedited. We got about 20 minutes of a guy lying in bed reading…bad television all around so we ended up watching a programme on Kylie. This was great and you could sing along happily.

My hair looks great by the way, another Darian “creation”. We added red at the back so that it peeps out behind the black.

Bored yet?

I feel so out of the loop now that I can’t do the blogging thing all the time. I miss snooping into everyone’s lives! I am most saddened!

I miss reading the Guardian online. Free texting. Hotmail. The blogs…*sigh*

My reward for the sacrifice is finally enjoying my work, but how long will this last?

Marge Simpson, the Edible Undies and the Porno Toilets

Yes. It was a hen night. The first proper one I’ve ever been to.

My friend Lottie is due to be married on June 1st.

We started at La Perla, a Mexican Bar on Maiden Lane. This meant pina coladas and tequila.

Vanessa bought Lottie a big blue curly wig, pearls and veil so she could be like Marge Simpson- I’m hoping there is a story behind this. Strangely, she also got a pair of knickers to go with the wig. The knickers had a blue minge sown onto the outside….

She also got the typical Hen Night Bag with edible underwear, penis straws, furry handcuffs, cream filled chocolate penises, etc etc

We then had dinner at Sarastros in Covent Garden (more famous in our world for the infamous joint birthday party of Lloyd and Peter in August 2000). Sarastros is ridiculously opulent, tacky and textured. It’s great fun and the atmosphere is great. MOST striking though were the pornographic paintings in the toilet! They were seriously X-rated sexual acts depicted in the loos!


We had some of the tables there. I was at the one with the purple velvet table cloth

Lotti kindly went around to the other table sharing her presents with the other customers. One of the other tables stole the edible undies! She also sat on old men’s laps, crawled from one end of the table to the other (it was a long table for 15) and had to answer question on Emanuel, her fiancé.

The grand total came to over £400…..

I met a lovely Australian girl called Que and we hit it off fantastically. She’s only here for another week and I’m talking her out with me on Friday and Saturday to show her how it’s done in London.

I got home very drunk but not too late and I think my glow and the dark penis straw amused Darian. Or was it annoyed? I can’t remember. I was pissed.

This is the second time I write this and I’m really pissed off. My laptop is a piece of shit. It was a really good blog as well but I am angry now and I feel my creative juices evaporating with its heat.

Until-if- they sort out my internet at my new job I won’t be able to blog as much anymore or do as many links as before because, judging by its speed, this laptop was spawned my a turtle. Please bear with me over the next few days and thank all 3 of you for still reading.

Friday

Instead of the usual clubbing Albert invited me over for home cooked dinner and a movie.
I particularly enjoyed walking into the kitchen as W David was grating cheese and him freezing on spotting me.

“Albert forgot to tell you I was coming, didn’t he?”

“….yeah!…”

After the initial surprised we all happily chopped veg and prepared dinner. David and I went to the video store (that had a very cute but strange boy behind the counter) and rented The Man Who Wasn’t There. Unfortunately it turned into “The Audience Who Wasn’t There” because the film was terribly dull and we all fell asleep. Well directed and lighted but the script left much to be desired. The most interesting part of the film was Albert moaning for cushions in his sleep.

Saturday




Unfortunately another film disaster this time with The Pornographer at the Prince Charles cinema. It was one of those up-their-arses French Cannes things. I was disappointed by the amount of pornography in it! Although the sex scene they did show was very realistic, although that’s because they were actually having sex. Otherwise it was about a French man with bad hair having a mid-life crisis. France is a mid-life crisis.

Afterwards Gavin, W David, Vanessa and I went to a lovely Café on Old Compton Street and debate the film. BOYZ, you stiffed us with the bill! You both left without paying!!

Vanessa and I decided to do the straight girl thing so we head into the Igloo bar (were the Candy Box used to be). Only then did we realise it that it was a dyke bar. Ooops. We came up with our pub crawl for the evening:

1- Old world pub
2- Pretentious bar
3- cocktail bar
4- dire bar
5- dance bar

After our brief drink as lesbians we headed into 6th Degrees. We thought it may be pretentious but it actually was a cocktail bar, oh yummy cocktails! I highly recommend their Wild Honey Pie. Beware of the 6 Degrees of Iced Tea as it contains absinthe!

Lorraine met us and we did some happy, merry soul searching and self-affirmation. We decided we were happy with our lot and life. Lorraine and I both don’t really care for careers and don’t think we’ll ever have one. We could but we wouldn’t be happy.

Lorraine comes from the same town as Peter and Mary and she has the same down to earth sensibility. I know they don’t think highly of their Manchester Satellite Town but it must be doing something right to produce such wonderful people.

Anyway, Stuart met us and we went to the Lab bar. It was rammed but very fun. They had live percussionist playing along with the house music and people were cheerful. We danced and whirled and realised it was late.

Stuart and I had tickets to Wig Out but I hadn’t brought a change of top. Vanessa made me one out of her orange and yellow scarf (yes that is correct, I wore orange and yellow). It was great. Maybe I was just a bit pissed.

Despite the new management and the new name, The Ghetto was as hot as always but the staff friendlier. Mainly because they are all popstarz regulars….suspicious…

The music was excellent but my scarf wasn’t holding up too well with all the sweat and became transparent and saggy. My bra was showing through. I know, you are all shocked and disgusted. Somehow I managed to keep it up for 4 hours.

Sunday

I sunned myself. I have a faint triangle on the bridge of my nose were my sunglasses were.

Monday

Started the new job, which so far is much better than my last one. Kentish Town has, like, stuff in it like banks and cafés and people who don’t wear tracksuits….


not the gig we went to

After work Darian and I went to Shepherd’s Bush to meet Anna who had for us free tickets to the Beverly Knight concert. The gig was fantastic! The woman can SING and by the last track, Get Up, she had them dancing in the aisles. Interestingly she did a cover of Trouble by Coldplay, which almost had me liking that song. Also particularly good were up coming single Gold, Sista Sista and her Britney/Chaka Khan bootleg. You had to be there.

ASIDE Will Young was there. He looks just like on telly and he seemed to be having a good time.

Once the show was over we went BUSH, some trendy restaurant place, for the after show party. Free booze and free food. I was being a pig and eating all the canopies but they were sooo delicious! It was great just to spend time with Darian and Anna and watch all the people doing the “cheekbone” thing and being I’m cooler than you. I stuffed my face with wild mushroom risotto balls and kept my eyes peeled for the food trays going past our table. For some reason (possible the JD and the white wine) I went into silly mode. Darian kept trying to correct my posture but in the end he gave up.

Generally though it was relaxed and we all had a good time although as Anna (or was it bunny?) summed it up “The only people here who look like celebrities are the waiting staff”.

The music left something to be desired, the DJ trying to be all R&B clever so no one was dancing and you could see the people itching for a boogy but the music wasn’t carrying them. We squeezed one in at the end.

Courtesy of Anna, we had the cab home paid for by the record company! Darian and I bickered all the way into N1 and then decided we should go to Tenerife by the time we reached E8- we were quite pissed. The cab came to 40 quid to drive from Shepherd’s Bush to Hackney a black cab but I must say that at night London should be seen from the back seat of a black cab. (like big stars in the back seat, like skeletons ever so pretty)

After I posted that rant about my work place they've just given me flowers and a card.

Last Day at Work and I Intend to Do Fuck All and Be a Sarcastic Bitch

I've been holding this anger in for 4 months and now it has an outlet. I've never worked in a more disorganised, unappreciative and unsupportive environment. Even when I had shit jobs at Cafe Nero and Haagen Daaz at least my collegues were sympathetic and team players.

This place is a fucking mess. I won't miss it. And I fucking HATE Walthamstow. There is nothing here except depressing people that have no hope and wear track suits. White trash. Except they aren't all white. How nice, multicultural trash.

ANYWAY. I have to wrap up everything at work so won't be posting anything much today so I will leave you with this, which I did on Mnoday or Tuesday or something. Enjoy.

Everything About Me That You Never Wanted To Know

[01] what's your first name?: Val
[04] nicknames?: Val is a nickname, Little Miss Bitch, “Taxi lady?”.
[05] age?: 25
[06] gender?: Yes
[07] birthday?: 10th February
[08] your sign?: Aquarius
[09] where do you live?: London, Hackney
[10] do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? I have a husband
[11] if so what's her/his name?: Bunny! (Darian)
[12] have you ever been in love?: No
[13] who are/were your crushes?: Brett Anderson, Neil Codling, Jude Law, Damon Albarn, David Usher, Brad Pitt, Jared Leto, Ted, Adam P in high school,
[14] do you have any piercings, or want any piercings?: Yes, labret (under lip). Want to get belly button done too.
[16] do you have a tattoo or want one?: I want one but can’t afford it. Rather spend my money on clubbing or another piercing.
[18] where do you shop at the most? Sainburys! Yes, the supermarket.
[19] what color is your hair?: Dark Brown
[20] what color are your eyes?: Dark Brown
[21] how tall are you?: 5’5

[23] do you smoke?: Only when intoxicated/high, unfortunately I then chain smoke
[24] do your friends smoke?: Some. Naughty, naughty you are a bad influence.

[25] who are your closest friends?: Darian, Lloyd, Andreea, Vanessa, W David, Lvpl St David, Albert, Khalid, Stuart, Peter, Gavin, Luke

[26] who are your friends?: As above and Richard, Rob, Mary, Ben, Dharma, Chris L, Chris E, Little Chris, Jen, Lorraine, Ruth, Jerome, Freddie, Grant, Cdn David, Jackie, Lotti, Ryan, Tommy, Wilhelm, Erin, Carlen, Adam

[29] kind of shampoo and conditioner do you use?: Herbal Essence Deep Cleaning and Conditioner for Fine hair
[30] is your hair short or long?: Short, but shorter on one side by about quite a bit.
[31] do you like to shop?: YES! Except shoe shopping! I hate high heels!! They don’t make decent non-heeled shoes for women! I need a fab looking shoe that has low heels and you can dance it for hours.

[32] what sports do you play?: Hahahaha, you are joking, right?
[33] what turns you on?: Intelligence, warped sense of humour, kindness,
[34] what turns you off?: Dishonesty, immaturity, stupid hair, bad dress sense, blandness and wanting to be "one of the lads"
[35] what place do you go for fun?: Clubs, Soho, friend’s homes, cinema
[36] what do you do for fun?: blog, dance, drink (coffee or alcohol), read, socialise/gossip, wander
[37] how many phones do you have in your house?: erm… not sure probably about 5 but only 3 work
[38] how many tv's do you have in your house?: Two, one in the living room and one in my bedroom (thanks Bunny!).
[39] what's your favorite food(s)?: chocolate! milk, Quorn (I know, but it’s fabulous!), salads, olives, eggs, yoghurt, chips/French fries, cheese on toast, mushrooms, biscuits, anything chocolate, bananas, erm Indian and Chinese.

[40] do you look like anyone famous?: Apparently. I’ve gotten Liza Manelli (you say it to my face you die), Justine Frishman (???), Isabella Roselini in Blue Velvet, Natalie Imbruglia (I so wish), Audrey Hepburn (i hugged and kissed the person who said that excessively after)and someone once said Debbie Harry without the Blondie…???

[41] do you think ricky martin is muy guapo (very handsome)?: I think his sex appeal exceeds his physical attributes.
[42] who are the most attractive people you know?: See my list of friends.
[43] are you a virgin?: As if.
[44] do you wish to be like your parents?: NO
[45] what cologne should a hot guy wear?: Gucci envy, Jean Paul Gaultier, uh that nice smelly stuff that David and Albert had samples of, which was the most delicious scent ever, whatever it was Adam used to wear.
[46] what are you listening to right now?: The sound of my typing (I’m at work)
[47] what time is it?: 13:40

[48] how many hours per day do you spend talking on the phone?: It varies from like 15 minutes to hours (usually Sunday)
[49] do you have your own phone line?: Well mobile is that, isn’t it?
[50] have you ever kissed someone of the opposite sex?: Yes, but I have a suspicion that more than half were gay…
[51] what are your favorite shoes?: I hate shoes!
[52] what kind of clothes do you sleep in, if any?: I have a wild amount of different PJs from thick blue whinnie the pooh ones to red silk teeny nighty and everything in between
[53] what's your favorite soda?: The fizzy kind
[54] what things do you say a lot?: No, Fuck off, Go away, don’t poke me, I’m confused, whatever, ooh shineeeee
[56] who is the coolest person in the world?: Probably the Inuit sitting in the artic
[57] do you think you're weird or funny?: Both
[59] who was the last person you called?: Erm Kate in Medical Records, friend’s wise I think it was Stuart.
[64] what's your worst memory in the past 5 years?: I have too many
[65] what's your favorite childhood memory?: being with my extended family in Argentina
[66] what is your favorite fast food restaurant?: I don’t do fast food.
[67] who do you really hate?: Stupid bigots, people who push their morals down other people’s throats, George Bush
[68] do you have any brothers and sisters?: yes, sister.
[69] if so, names?: Jo

[72] are you stupid?: Desperately trying, but the drugs don’t work.
[73] what are you addicted to?: caffeine, chocolate, clubs
[74] do you like jewelry?: Jewellery is lovely.
[75] who do you wish you were?: Me with more money
[76] who has it easier, boys or girls?: Both have pros and cons, you just deal with what life has given you.
[77] would you rather be short or tall?: Tall, so I can see at concerts
[78] do you like to dance?: More than anything else.
[79] do you like playing pranks on people?: No
[80] what's your least favorite subject in school?: P.E.
[81] what's your favorite subject in school?: Lunch
[82] what time is it?: 13.48

[84] what school do you go to now?: Huh? I've been out of Uni since 1998 (dropped out)
[85] do you have a playstation or nintendo 64?: No. I got over computer games at 16 (although I did go through a slight addiction to MechWarrior). I miss C64 man!
[85] if so, what are your favorite games?: Poke the Bunny
[87] do you sleep a lot?: I’m in bed a lot, but I sleep average I think, although I’m prone to phases of insomnia and hypersomnia (yay depressions!)
[88] what are your favorite radio stations?: I Xfm, Radio1, Capitol
[89] are you a night person?: Night person, which is a bugger as I work 9-5.
[90] are you a morning person?: No, no and no. I’m the anti-morning person. Mornings are evil unless you are coming home from a club or party.

[91] what's your favorite tv station?: Channel 4.
[92] do you shave?: Wax baby. No pain, no gain.
[93] how often do you shower?: Not very as we only have a bath
[94] do you get along with your parents?: Yes, it’s amazing what an ocean between you can do.
[95] what room do you spend the most time in?: Bedroom
[96] how many rooms does your house have?: 5, not including the hall way.
[97] what do you wanna be when you're out of school?: I’ve been out of school for almost 4 years!
[98] do you curse a lot?: Fuck yeah”
[99] are you ticklish?: Unfortunately.
[101] what are you wearing right now?: Black knee length skirt, black button shirt, black boots, black panty hose.
[102] do you go to church?: Church is for losers who can’t think for themselves.
[107] do you believe in love at first sight?: No
[108] what color tooth brush do you use?: White and purple

[110] who is your favorite cartoon character?: Sailor Moon I guess.
[111] do you have a job?: Yes, medical secretary but 5 minutes ago they said only until the end of the week…erm, help!
[112] have you hugged your muse today? No
[113] what's your favorite fruit?: Banana
[114] what's your favorite veggies?: mushrooms, tomatoes,
[115] what's your favorite candy?: CHOCOLATE!
[116] what was the best day of your life so far?: That’s a bit generalised! Had many good days.
[117] what are you gonna do today?: work, work, work. Boring boring boring.
[119] do you wear body spray?: No.
[120] who is the sweetest girl?: Andreea
[121] who is the sweetest guy?: W David
[122] are you wearing nail polish now?: Only on my toes
[124] how many rings or necklaces do you own?: enough, unforutnately most of my necklaces are broken!
[125] do you wear a watch?: No, developed an allergic reaction to it.
[126] did/do you have braces?: I did.
[127] are you tired?: No just bored
[129] do you have freckles?: Nope
[130] what are you thinking right now?: I wish I could go outside in the sun
[131] are you having fun?: This is fun, work isn’t
[132] what time is it?: 13.59

[133] who makes you laugh?: Darian, Luke, Lloyd (unfortunately not intentionally), Vanessa, Adam M, Jo
[136] what is the best concert you have ever been to?: Ooooh, been to some very good ones. Suede were really good, U2, JJ72, Macy Gray
[137] what is your favourite dream?: My dreams tend to be incredibly surreal
[138] what is your worst dream?: I often have those weird moments between sleep and waking where I am paralysed (called Awarenss in Sleep Paralysis or ASP) and feel a presence in the room but I can’t move. Once it was strangling me, it felt sooo real- the terror was indescribable. I woke up choking and gasping for air, my throat hurt all day. Had one on Sunday, I thought the cat was treading on my bed but then I remember I don’t have a cat. I don’t know what was there or if anything was but I was frozen and desperately trying to call Darian but my vocal cords wouldn’t move, my eyes couldn’t open.
[139] are you tired of filling this out yet?: No, beats working

[140] who of your friends do you think will get bored with this?: This answer would be shorter if it read which of your friends won’t get bored of this.
[143] have you ever cheated on anyone/been cheated on?: I have committed adultery. So has he.
[145] do you believe in ghosts?: Yes

what's better? choose one or neither
[146] rap or r&b?: RnB
[147] pop or rock?: Pop can rock!
[148] rock or metal?: Rock on, baby!
[149] classical or jazz?: I like both. Classical is amazing and old skool Jazz like Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong is just beautiful.
[150] hanson or manson?: Shirly, Marilyn or Charles? Manson anyway
[151] koRn or 311?: 311 are still around? How old is this?
[152] no doubt or garbage?: Both”
[154] offspring or nine inch nails?: Both! Although NIN had a much bigger influence on me,
[158] what do you think about boy bands?: Excellent, except Backstreet Boys
[159] what do you think about country?: Boring
[160] what do you think about heavy metal?: Which sort? Old skool?
[161] what do you think about rap?: Hasn’t evolved in 10 years. Get on with it! Stop whinging and showing off how much you can swear.
[162] what do you think about r&b?: Has some awesome stuff but generally it’s dull
[172] like britney spears?: Yes!
[174] like b*witched?: Again, how old is this??
[177] like busta rymes?: Whatever
[179] like ricky martin?: Some of his stuff is great
[181] like janet jackson?: Yeah
[182] like spice girls?: Yes, it was all so fun back in the day
[183] like all saints?: Yeah
[194] like brandy?: Some
[195] like eminem?: Yes
[201] like bare naked ladies?: GORDON ROCKS! otherwise iffy.
[203a] do you like the beach boys?: boooring.
[203b] do you like def leppard?: Ah, the memories
[203c] do you like whitesnake?: No.
[203d] do you like queen?: Yes. .
[203e] do you like elton john?: No
[204] how many cd's do you have?: I don’t know. About 170 not including singles?
[205] what cd's are in your cd player?: I think Air “Moon Safari”
[206] how many tapes do you have?: 20?
[207] do you own videos of your favourite group?: Yes, Suede, Tori Amos, had loads of U2 stuff in Canada
[208] do you record your favourite group when they're on tv?: Used to, not now
[209] are you obsessed with your favourite group/singer/band?: I used to be obsessed with U2 and Suede at different times but I’m a big girl now.
[210] what's the oldest group/singer you are still listening to? Ella Fitzgerald
[211] are most of your friends music freaks?: Too right!
[212] what do you think of the girls and the whole teeny bopper thing?: It must be done. I went through it with NKOTB
[213] have you ever paid for a pay-per-view?: No.
[215] do you ever buy merchandise of your favourite group?: Yes, I’m a sucker at concerts.
[221] what's your favourite movie soundtrack?: Not really into soundtracks. Liked Trainspotting, The Crow
[223] friend(s) you go to for advice?: Lloyd, Darian, Vanessa, Andreea…all of them really

[229] boxers or briefs?: Boxer-briefs!
[230] long or short hair?: Short
[231] dark or blonde?: Dark
[232] tall or short?: Tall
[234] mr. sensitive or mr. funny?: Both
[235] good guy or bad guys?: good guys
[236] dark or light eyes?: both (although I confess to really liking blue eyes)
[237] hat or no hat?: hats bite
[238] ears pierced or no?: I have them pierced, on boys it can look alright, particularly in unusual places like the top or the side.
[239] tan or fair?: Tan
[240] freckles or none?: No
[241] stubble or neatly shaved?: Shaved
[242] rugged outdoorsy type or sportsy type?: Can I be a lesbian if that’s my only choice?
[245] accent or american?: Accent, dear god American’s sound annoying (no one say anything about my accent, it annoys me too!)

[247] mcdonalds or burger king?: I don’t eat meat
[248] coke or pepsi?: Coke
[249] rather marry the perfect lover or perfect friend?: Friend, as I’ve done it.
[250] sweet or sour?: sweet.
[251] chocolate or vanilla?: Chocolate!
[252] tea or coffee?: Coffee
[253] sappy/action/comedy/horror?: Horror every time.
[254] cats or dogs?: I like kitties!
[258] with or without ice-cubes?: depends
[260] milk/dark/white chocolate?: dark
[261] shine or rain?: SHINE, PLEASE LORD SHINE!
[262] top or bottom?: Depends on the mood
[263] favorite season?: Summer
[264] strawberry or cherry?: cherry
[267] cake or cookies?: Cake
[268] cereal or toast?: Cereal
[269] car or truck?: Airplane
[270] night or day?: Depends
[271] gloves or mittens?: Gloves
[272] pager or cell phone?: mobile. Pagers are soo last millinium
[273] bunk bed or waterbed?: I like my bed, it neither wobbles or hovers in the air.
[274] chewing gum or hard candy?: Gum
[275] motor boat or canoe? Have you people not heard of bridges?
[276] lights on or off?: Off or I’ll stare at the wall while compiling a shopping list.

what's your favorite?
[277] what's your favorite color?: Blue.
[278] what's your favorite number?: 10
[279] what's your favorite drink?: hot chocolate
[280] what's your favorite animal?: cats
[281] what's your favorite holiday?: Summer
[282] what's your favorite quote?: I don’t know! maybe, maybe it's the times we've had, The lazy days and the crazes and the fads,
[283] what's your favorite sound?: Wind on a summer day when the leave russle and there are people laughing
[284] what's your favorite ice cream flavor?: Chocolate chip cookie dough
[285] what's your favorite song ever?: Damned if I know.
[286] what's your favorite book?: Ishmael-Daniel Quinn, The Little Prince, The Picture of Dorian Gray- Oscar Wilde
[287] what's your favorite movie?: Lilies
[288] what's your favorite tv show?: West Wing, Sex and the City, Simpsons
[289] what's your favorite radio station?: Déjà vu…
[290] what's your favorite place?: In the sunshine or on the dancefloor
[291] what's your favorite game?: Poke the Bunny
[292] what's your favorite scent?: Summer smell before rain when you can smell the flowers and the grass very strongly
[294] what's your favorite shape?: who cares?
[295] what's your favorite texture?: the inside of fresh chewy cookie oozing chocolate.
[296] what's your house gonna look like?: probably messy
[297] where are you gonna live?: in my house.
[298] how many kids do you want?: 0
[299] what does your ideal girlfriend/boyfriend look like?: good.
[300] how do they act?: He doesn’t act, he is.
[301] where is your dream date?: I don’t know, if you see him give him my number
[302] do you like to call or be called?: both are joyous affairs.
[304] move anywhere, where would it be?: Out of Hackney. Really I love London but I guess I’d move to Spain or Buenos Aires.
[305] what time is it now?: 14.29

I Don't Think So

And for gods sake, Juan Peron was NOT a dictator..argh!



Take the Madonna Personality Quiz Here

Today, Matthew, I Will Be:

Bramblerose Overhill of Rushy

That's my Hobbit name apparently.

Stolen from:here

Yes. The best part of STAR WARS: Episode II- Attack of th Clones is none other than Yoda.



I have to say I enjoyed this much more than I did Phantom Menace. the story line was much more complex, Jar Jar Banks is barely in it (thank ye Lucas!) and I actually like the characters this time. The story moved at a better pace and was actually interesting. I'm not going to spoil it for peolpe but definately worth seeing on the big screen.

My complaints would be too much computer animations- would it kill to build a set? and sometimes dire dialogue but that could be keeping with tradition. Perhaps the story should have focused more on the Jedi Knights as well rather then the personal stories.

Bizarre was Ewan McGregor obviously impersonating Alec Guiness. The poor man had to deliver some very cheesy lines and the lines they gave C3PO were terrible!

The best was the final fight scene when Yoda gets to strut his stuff. Nice! The audience was laughing and cheering.

The love story isn't too bad and we all know it's necessary or we wouldn't have had the original Star Wars. Natalie Portman is just so pretty and wears cool clothes again; although none as striking as in Episode I. Hayden Christiansen is rather cute too.He did a prety good job of presenting the duality that already exists in the character of Anakin- training to be a Jedi but being arrogant and impulsive.I think I want to wear a hooded cape and carry a light saber....

I'm really looking forward to Episode III.

The audience was quite good and sporatic applause was heard through the screening. Annoyingly, I was sat next to 2 Japanese-American girls who were eating everything under the sun as long as it wasn't natural (nacho with that orange melted plastic sauce, hot dogs with every condiment) and commentating loudly. Then one of them fell asleep and was snoring! She woke up at the end and started cheering and squeeling, telling her friend what was going on in the film as if she couldn't tell. We told her to shut the fuck up.

(you can tell I can't be arsed to review things, can't you?)

The End

HA!

Got Tickets for the first public showing of Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones in London at 23:40 (before the 16th *gasp*)! Way before the Americans too! AHAHAHAHA. I'm not petty, not at all.

As you were.

Need.Tickets.Now



Grounds for Divorce: Thinking that I would not be interested in Attack of the Clones because I didn't like Phantom Menace. No one liked Phantom Menace. I'm a child of the 70s, of course I want to see anything Star Wars!

Hello Pussy

Behold the Hello Kitty Vibrators!

Wanted: A Job

The woman I am replacing at work is coming back on Monday.

I'm out of a job.

Help me. Now.

The good thing is: I'm out of here!!

Woooooooohooo!!!

Really, I would like suggestions. I'm tired of the temp thing. I am definately tired of working as a medical secretary. It's not me and I'm living a lie. While everyone is busy being pregnant I'm busy getting off my face. While everyone goes home to their partners I go in to Soho for a drink. I can't talk to anyone at work about my lifestyle. I hate talking about my marriage because I just can't explain it to these people.

I'm especially tired of audiotyping. It's messing my hearing up.

These are my skills:
Good typist, better at copy than audio.
Excellent writer (I know you can't tell from my blog but I can write very good business letters and I bother to correct my spelling mistakes/typos)
Good interpersonal skills (but my temper can be short with assholes).
Excellent telephone manner
Can fake enthusiasm when appropriate
Know the usual windows applications including power point (but not access)
Bilingual (Spanish is my native tongue)

Argh, I'm doomed to a life as a secretary, there has to be more to my life than this. I thought making a list of my good points would cheer me up but it's depressed me. It's soooo lame. That's not what I consider good about me. These are my real skills:

-Excellent listener, I've heard it all. People tell me anything, I try not to pass too much judgement (except on Darian because he's my bunny and I expect a lot!)
- Always up for a boogie, drink, stroll, laugh
-Will hug you when required and even when not.
-Sensible, practical advice (whether you take it or not is up to you.)
-Educated but forgotten it all but left with my convictions
-Not afraid to be silly, foolhardy or braindead every now and then
-I almost always wear sensible shoes
-I can out dance you all. Except W. David and Darian
-Always ready to supply a chocolate cake for any occasion
-Good conversationalist (if I'm interested in the topic)
-Generally nice person
- Would be generous if it didn't mean I'd starve
-Like animals
- Well read
-Patient with people that other people don't seem to have the patience for



Yes, I like that list better. How do I incoorporate that into my daily life (V I know what you are thinking and no I won't go into that!). I am aware that list is highly inpractical for any sort of career. Why can't I be a professional "hanger out". Like, I get to hang out all day with my mates to provide stress relief from their busy lives? No, I don't mean prostitution!

According to this calorie calculator, I must burn almost 1000 calories when I go clubbing if I dance for 3 hours intensively, which is likely. Man, and those heavy mornings at Trade must be like 2000! No wonder it takes so long to recover!1

1 hour at work (office job)= 144 calories
1 hour of tv= 48 ! calories
1 hour of sleeping= 48 calories
1 hour of yoga= 204 calories
1 hour of skiing= 390 (but doesn't specify downhill or cross country.
1 hour of walking= 240 calories
1 hour of intensive dancing= 306 calories (but then -150/Smirnoff Ice ....)

Mother Jailed Over Truant Daughters.

I can only think this is unfair, severe and a waste of tax payers money. What happened to liberal democracy? Why is this woman going to jail for something someone else did? Why is MY tax money being wasted on this retarded scheme? I rather it go to targetting thieves or feeding the homeless. Or even giving councilling to this family so they can work out their problems properly. It would cost less than sending someone to prison for 60 days. I can't stand it anymore. I'm going to have to take over.

A Cliche for Every Occasion

Woohoo, lunch in front of the computer! Damn bloody rain.

Friday

Did the usual and went to Popstarz. BUT there was a special, lovely moment. Firstly one of the boyz was feeling a bit fragile and we were sat in the Beats Bar feeling the love. Without E. He was appreciating having his friends around and hugs abounded with proclamations of love. It was all sincere and we all loved it.

A guy, Rainer, we used to know about 3 years ago was there for the first time in a while. He beheld us sitting there, then asked if Lloyd and Kal were still our friends. I confirmed that we were all still the best of mates, but that they couldn't afford to come out this weekend. He then looked back at the David's sitting arm and arm, and me at their feet, Albert jibbering to strangers in the background.
R: I can't believe you are all still such good friends
Me: Yeah...it's been three years now and that hasn't really changed at all. Do you think we're sad?
R: No! I think it's absolutely great! That doesn't happen often

It was a beautiful moment that is so simple but incredibly meaningful. A little moments when you realise that every little bit counts and you realise the value of what you have.

We celebrated by dancing furiously to " I feel love" by Donna Summer and Crying at the Discoteque (this should be my theme!) by Alcazar before dispersing for fun in the indie room .

Goth Ruth was there with her new boyfriend, Paul. They are both absolutely lovely people but they shouldn't complain about people thinking Paul is gay when he goes around wearing bright pink cyberdogclothing and platform boots in a gay club!

Also enjoyed booging with the long lost Kevin- we seemed to have the same haircut..., Ryan and Bif, Grant etc etc etc
I think the evening ended up a mess for everyone else, but I was peachy. Albert and Lvpl St David were amazingly drunk but somehow managed to still be standing.

Saturday

I don't remember walking up or what I did. I only remember being annoyed at CD:UK was over already. This is alarming because I wasn't drunk the previous night.

I got my ass out of the house and went into town to meet Gavin as I needed to purchase a new mug after the disastrous post-DTPM incident whereby I placed my mug, the mug I must drink out of in the morning, into the microwave without any liquid in it. It shattered.

We met in Paperchase on Tottenham Court Road and Stuart was there for a bit too. I shouldn't be allowed in stationary shops, especially one with 3 stories and coffee shop! I get the urge to buy loads of pretty paper, pens and diaries and sit by a table musing. I resisted. I also wanted to buy W David this awesome CD rack they had but then I don't have enough money to buy me a CD so I passed.

I also found a new mug at Cargo next door. In case you were worried.

We grabbed a coffee at First Out. I love this little place. It's not the usual gay scene place. Actually, it's pretty non-scene. A variety of people come and go. It's also just relaxed and slightly boho. Yes, I'm a fag-hag.

That evening Gavin, L, Darian, Duncan and I gathered at the Prince Charles cinema to see Mulholland Drive.



The faux-red velvet of the cinema and the awkward sitting arrangement all befitted the film. The only seats left were the two love seats at the back. Gavin, L and I squeezed into one with me in the middle while Duncan and Darian sat cozily on the other. These seats don't sit 3 very well. Gav's shoulder was nuzzled in my armpit and I was squished next to L all night, which was kinda weird and extremely hot as I think he was a coal fire in a past life. Much hitting, poking, wiggling, shifting and whinging occurred during the film in our cozy little love seat built for 2 and seating 3. I had to forbid them from breathing, dancing and poking me.

ANYWAY. The film was fantastic. I don't normally like to comment on films on my blog but this one just blew me away. It contains the most stunning, surreal and hypnotic scene I have experienced that involved a woman singing "Crying (Llorando)" in Spanish without music (no hay banda!). Striking, moving, I loved it.

It was fascinating film and I cannot begin to describe it and no one knows what it means but it's great. It's an amazing achievement for David Lynch that people have raved about this film yet acknowledging that they have no idea what it's about!
Click on the picture below for the fanclub that has some discussion and theories as to what it can all mean!



Once we got out of the inferno (L "I need a cigarrette after that!") Gavin and I rushed to Miss-shapes, which turned into high drama and caffeine pills. Lots of people I hadn't seen in a while, including Ylva from Sweden (not to be confused with Swedish Ylva who live in London and Ylva from Sweden was staying with), Ruth, Paul (still in the pink!), Jenny, Esme, Stuart etc etc

I can't get into all the drama but it was fun and traumatic all at once, all these things kept happening around me yet none of it was happening to me. Interesting.

Sunday

Lazy day! I strolled, I cooked, I stayed in my robe til almost 6pm. Darian cut my hair and after my initial ACK! It's TOO short! freak out I have grown to love it. It looks great with eyeliner, which I like to wear in excess! Oh the joy!

Also, my pasta sauce came out superb,ahhhhhhhhhhhh. Confirmed to my parents and sister that I was still alive. Watched West Wing, and The Hives take the piss out of Jools Holland (he was being such a loser). I've seized to make sense now.

I will update, just very busy at work today. Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

In the meantime, I welcome suggestions as to what the hell Mulholland Drive was about. Great movie, mind.

Some heavy reading for you on Friday afternoon:

"Islam is not a race, but a religion and a culture with distinctive values. And those are not liberal values. It is no accident that there is no Islamic liberal democracy anywhere in the world."

It's food for though, definately. It dares to say what many people think but never state out loud; however, I don't agree with a lot of her views. I don't think all muslims are sexist, fundementalist bullies. And I'm definately not for the whole family values thing but this makes for a fascinating read.

I do agree that the West has to stand up for it's values and stop hiding everytime someone has a problem with it. If we are to tolerate other's opinions we must first be able to stand up for our own.

Friday Five

Is still not back so again I went into their archives...


1. Have you ever had braces? Any other teeth trauma?

Yes. I had braces for 4 years and a retainer for 2. I also had 9 teeth removed in total.

2. Ever broken any bones?

Nope, knock on wood.

3. Ever had stitches?

Yes. Cut my chin open at the age of 8 jumping off a bed, cartwheeling in the air and landing chin first on a chest of drawers. I needed 3 stitches.

Also loads of stitches behind my ears from surgery I had.


4. What are the stories behind some of your [physical] scars?

I have a chicken pox scar on one of my eyebrows. A scar on my chin (see above). Scars behind my ears. Scar on my finger from when I accidentally smashed my locker door into it in grade 9. Scar on my left wrist from when I went through a plate of glass at the age of 7. Burn scar on my left abdomine from some idiot at Heaven whose cigarette ash fell into my jeans and would not go out.

5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?

Looks like the infamous popstarz again tonight and Vanessa's place on Sunday. Saturday is still up for grabs!

This Looks GoooooooooooD

Sunday 02/06 To Celebrate The Jubilee:

Finally, I went to see the Body World's exhibit at the Truman Gallery last night; thanks to my lovely hubby.

It was fantastic. It was educational and fascinating. It's something you never get to see for real and the experience left me far more aware of the human body, mortality and life than any amount of science classes in school. It was a wonderful tool for experiencing the biology of people. I got to see real life brains, guts, testicles, circulatory systems, hearts, ovaries, foetus,livers, muscles, bladders, spleens, lungs, and every other part of the body you can think of.

Notes of Interest:

1. how large the lungs are. Also, the example of smoker's lungs and non-smokers lungs is the most convencing thing I have ever seen to make you want to stop smoking.
2. Veins! They just had a body made of vains, it was beautiful.
3. Bunny Veins!

4. 3 month old foetus in a womb. Wow!
5. Tongues are the grossest part of the body once you see them seperated from everything else. Yuck.
6. Uterus. So god damn small! How do they bleed so much every month???? How does a baby fit in there?
7. There was a face just rotating on a stick It looked like a halloween mask that you could put on over your face. I bet the scientist did When it turned to the back there were eye sockets and nose sinus. Fascinating.
8. Gigantic heart over a person with heart desiase. It was the size of a child's head
9. Tumours and cancer growths on body parts displayed in glass cases.
10. The foetuses in the tubes from 4 weeks-8weeks so you could see how it grew from looking like a bread crumb to looking like a mini-me.
11. Deformed spine.
12. Deteriorated cerebellum of person with Alzeheimer's disease.
13. Generally being able to see inside the posed bodies and examining the insides. They were done so you could learn about each system and bodies were cut at different angles so you could get a full perspective.
aside: There was only one body of a whole woman that was sliced. It was hung from the ceiling in a swimming position and there was a group of women (myself included) crouching underneath trying to look inside to find the uterus and fallopian tubes, they are tiny!

Not so nice:

1. Most of the bodies were male.
2. Muscle man holding up his own skin like Silence of the Lambs.
3. Deformed foetus, urghhhhhhhhh
4. Body of woman 8 months pregnant. This is because of my own fear of pregnant women, I'm sure but it was really disturbing. It does seem so in the photograph below but it was in the exhibit.
5. Pubic hair on some of the bodies or body parts.
6. Swinging testies on one of the exhibits.

It was a great learning experience and I feel much more appreciation for my body now. I think I'm going to make a real effort to stop smoking now and I'm scared to drink after seeing the shrivelled livers.... oh and I'm soooo having my tubes tied...ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Well...the Queen looked old and Prince Philip looked dead.
Nice car though.
Someone of the Queen's very pale complexion should not wear such brightly coloured clothes. It brought out the palour.
Ever been to a wake with an open coffin?

We are being taken on a field trip outside because Her Majesty will be passing by the Centre.

In case you desire photographic proof that my mates and I are mentalist click on the picture below for more images.

So it turns out the man that murdered Pim Fortuyn was an Environmentalist.

sigh

I really hate it when people do these mentalist things for their cause. Granted, he has not yet said that environmentalism or animal rights were his motivation for the assasination but either way it does not make the cause look good. These things always backfire. I have a big problem with people whom use violence to get their point across. As they say, Violence Begets Violence or it totally backfires and everyone takes the other person's side.

Or

Like in the Middle East, everyone is so booored and frustrated that no one does anything and are probably plotting to plot both of you off the face of the Earth so we can get some peace and quiet. Suicide bombers are just glorified show-offs. No one is going to admire you except other hard liners and at least they are alive. Morons. Surely, you are more useful living than dead? Thank you for riding the world of your idiot sensibilities.

People need to think more like Ghandi. He is greatly admired and fondly remembered. He actually helped cause a revolution. He didn't need to blow himself up or assasinate anyone. There was power in his restraint. Grace in his passiveness. Strength in his sereness.

I'm talking shit here, aren't I? My hands can never keep up with my thoughts, it's a terrible tragedy.

An article on Ecstacy.

It's pretty accurate except when it says that E takes away the feeling of thirst. WHaaaa???? All you do is dance and drink water by the litre.

Also left out these (they don't always happen, of course):

a) Your friend who is always monged in a corner. (I'm talking about you Albert!)
b) Obsession with smoking
c) The "wanders", when you can't stay in one play nor any music satisfy you for more than 2 minutes
d) Hearing words in the music that aren't really there (although in turned out that it really was Cookie Dough Dynamo on Sunday)
e) Paranoia ("Everyone is looking at me. I'm dancing funny. I'm obviously on e to everyone. Oh wait, so are they")
f) E Dancing. You can spot people blatantly going off on one on the dance floor, it's fabulous.
g) Silly blissful thoughts. ("la la la la, isn't this wonderful. Happiness. Everything is wonderful...alalalalalalllallaalalalal")
h) Forgetting what you were just doing or talking about
i) Closing your eyes and having bizarre but pleasing visions
j) I need to wee I need to wee... come on then...weee...uh... I guess I don't need to wee. Nevermind.
k) Heavy legs. You want to dance but you just can't move them.
l) Chewing, grinding, biting your lips, gurning, the need for gum lest you destroy your teeth.
m) I need a hug, I need a hug, I need a hug
n) I love you, it's not the drugs, I really love you, you are great. Wow
o) Confusing strangers with someone you know or talked to earlier in the evening
p) Waiting for the 5 people crammed in that cubicle to come out before you explode
q) Needing to wee like you never needed to before every 5 minutes when you come down

I'm NEVER going near a Ouija board again

Sunday

I went to the Living Room in Islington for the Sofa Sessions, which is partly run by Grant. It was rammed full of people as it was celebrating it's 1st birthday. The viba was great although I think Albert and I scared a poor straight boy with our discussion on group gay sex (not that I have much experience in the area but I'm always willing to listen to the gruesome details).

Met some nice interesting people and we were given free candy and kindly people bought me drinks. The music was great first Chris and then Spencer (from Fiction) spun some good tunes. Embarrassingly, I had to get my coat and a speaker had been played on top of it for the DJs to hear themselves and I had to interrupt Spencer's playing....

We had to shoot off to DTPM so we didn't get to hear Grant play.

DTPM was insane. It was rammed more than any club I had ever been in before. It's on Sundays and this being a long weekend people, like myself, whom don't often get to go attended. It's Fiction's Big Sister or Fiction XL (really the original Fiction as it's been on longer and run by the same people). The venue is a bit confusing (Fabric-which I normally dislike) but you have to admire a club that has speakers underneath the floor that make your entire body buzz.

Initially, I was incredibly irratated. I've never been in a group of bigger inconsiderate cunts in my life walking around like they were all that.I know it's because it was so full and people were twatted but god damn muscle mary's with their stubbly backs should realise pushing small girls around with their huge boobs is rude and stupid behaviour. I got twatted and I didn't use it as an excuse to be rude.

ANYWAY. Eventually it relaxed and I had a fabulous time! There were tonnes of people I knew there (strangely some from Popstarz and the Shadow Lounge crew & friends, Heena and friends). Most surprisingly Tim, Stuart's friend from Germany and Michaela (spelling??) whom I hadn't seen in a year.

There were some strange sites such as the people dressed as birds dancing on the stage on stilts and a man in the highest platform shoes I have ever seen (but he was also at popstarz on Friday and Trade last Sunday,bizarre). Let us not forget the two Japanese people dancing to the wall. They were about 2 inches from the wall, facing it and dancing to it. It was odd but amusing.

W David and I particularly enjoyed Lisa German's set in the dark room playing some dark percussion house. Wicked. She had the entire crowd wooping, clapping and begging for more.

Unnecessary: a)Crap live performance in the main room. A 4/4 beat and loud "OOOOh yeahhh" vocals don't necessarily make good house music.
b) Live saxaphonist in the dark room. What the fuck? Talk about dazing the clubbers. I think people were running out of the room screaming "nooo, you're brining me doownnnn."

Was Fascinated By: a) Cigarrettes
b) Footage of babies and toddlers in the dark room.
c) Japanese people dancing to the wall
d) Albert's DJ Guavera t-shirt
e) Tim being the only sober person for miles still being there at 6am with a huge grin on his face

David and I danced loads and in the end we'd been in there from 10:30 until 7am. The longest break we had from dancing was probably in the queue for the toilet.

Spent Monday asleep until 3. Then watched a shit load of telly. What Lies Beneath is a good movie BTW, just don't run a bath after like I did, it was a bit disconcerting.

Also watched Ring again, and I highly recommend it along with the sequel Ring2. They are the creepiest films you have ever seen. Ring2 has the most lethal glare I have ever seen. The sequel is actually eerier than the first one... *shudder* Bunny was anxious behind his green face mask...

For those you in the UK C4 will be showing Ring2 at 11:40pm next Monday.

So far my weekend has not gone as planned at all.
Instead of Fiction I end up at Popstarz AGAIN because everyone bailed out. Chickens.
Before that I went to some arsy Soho bar called Amber. It was pretentious and full of suits. Yuck.

I went the LAB bar on Old Compton Street as well, very briefly to meet up with Lvpl St David and some of his mates.

Although I complain about going to popstarz all the time I did have a brilliant night with Stuart and his mates Tim and Peter.
Some guy just handed me an entire spliff! Wooo! Also got invited to a million parties for tonight, hurrah long weekends! I also pulled a girl, go me! Had to lose her though trying to help a friend in need.

Also, had Lloyd come over last night and we got pissed while listening to old indie classics from oh so long ago (1995 onwards) before going to Miss-Shapes for their SUEDE night.

It was tops. As we got there Mat Osman was getting out of a cab. Once inside Brett Anderson walked past me twice. Sadly he seems to still be in his blonde phase. Looks very odd although he doesn't look bad, still he's looked better. I think I kinda stared at him though, oh well.

Also found myself with Simon Gilbert standing right in front of me so I started jibbering at him. He said he was having a good night and he was a bit off his face. I said I was stoned (this is true) and he thought this was cool. He then screamed and ran away. Ok, he just said he was going to continue wandering...

Ended up with shit loads of free stuff 12 (including unnumbered Stay Together, Everything will flow US record, New Generation) and 7"(drowners, metal mickey, so young), magazines and a suede mobile to hang from the ceiling. And some really bad t-shirt. And CD. Woooo.

Lloyd was out of it and kept clinging to my leg or W David's while we were trying to dance. I had to confiscated the poppers from him.

Tonight DTPM and Grant's party. I say now. The way things have been going this will change in half an hour.

I just rememberd that last night I had a dream about the sea. I dreamt I missed it. Missed it more than I have missed anything, it was affecting me heavily psychologically that I was not near it. When I saw the see in my minds eye it was turbulant. The sky was blue one side and stormy on the other. In my dream I had just moved from living by the sea, I was also not me. I was a hybrid of my sister and myself.

Can anyone explain this to me?

Friday Five

Friday 5 are talking a week off to revamp the website so I've done this old one instead.

1. Hey, baby, what's your sign? Do you think it fits you pretty well?

Aquarius. It fits eerily well.

2. What's the worst birthday gift you've ever received?

On my 14th birthday my mom's friend bought me a make-up set of blush and lipstick. Two problems:
a-I didn't wear make-up at the time, it was the early 90s and I was the grungy/outsider type.
b. It was very, very pink. Pink that only fair blondes can pull off. I'm Spanish by descent.

3. What's the best birthday gift you've ever received?

Ohhh, I've always been very lucky with birthdays because my parents always celebrated them with gusto.
The one that does stick out in my mind was my 24th Birthday last year. Darian told me to keep the following Saturday night free and to dress "Spanish". I didn't know where we were going until we got there. He'd booked us a table smack in the front middle row of Lady Salsa. Waiting there were Vanessa and Peter, who had not been able to make my birthday party the previous week. Also Canadian David and Richard.

The show was amazing and afterward we salsaed when they opened the dance floor. We also had a lot of pina coladas!

4. What's the best way you've celebrated your birthday thus far?

24th Birthday at the Blue in Hoxton Square. Loads of people turned up. We ended up going to Miss-Shapes, Wig Out and Trade! Also that same weekend saw Eminem, PJ Harvey, went to the Ministry of Sound (yuck), Popstarz and Heaven. It was wicked.

5. What are your plans for this weekend?

Fiction tonight, possibly mates over for drinks, Miss-Shapes tomorrow. Possibly seeing The Hives on Sunday night. Not sure what I'm doing on Monday as it is a holiday.

Burnley has elected 3 BNP (British National Party or Fascist Racist Cunts) councillors. Before everyone starts becoming distressed and freaking out perhaps we should look at the reasons why something like this has happened and remedy that so this doesn't happen again. I think Troubled Diva said it better than I could have- do read his comment on this as I completely agree.

Bring on the Transfer of Funds and Liberal Socialism. That is what the United Kingdom needs at the moment. We need Anti-Thatcher policies to right the wrongs her goverment did that we are still feeling today because idiots like Blair turn a blind eye and spend their days kissing Bush ass. Yuck.

He's single now boyz and girls!!! I call DIBS!

Custody Battle for the Monkey



Now that ITV Digital has gone bye-bye a new battle arises: Fight for the Mascot, which was always more popular than anything else they ever did.

Bloody Estate Agents. They are now threatening my father-in-law. The reason? The Estate Agents seem incapable of keeping proper records of conversations and letters. In fact, they don't seem to communicate with the person sat next to them so they think we are have been bunking off on the rent. They tell us one thing is fine and the next day they are taking us to court over it. FUCKING CUNTS.

Britney is not a virgin. You don't say.

Here are some good links to issues related to May Day. They are a very informative read! It also contains reports from last year's riot in London and the lovely quote from one of the activists "If they are going to treat me like a criminal, I may as well act like one".

Today is May Day. In London that means shutting up Central London and people running amock in protest or for fun.

I am feeling a bit guilty at the moment sitting in my office in North East London when I could be protesting in town.

I went last year and it was a complete eye-opener. My intention was just to observe but by the end of the day I was utterly dis-heartened by the police and admiring the people who had put so much effort into the protest. Don't believe what you read in the media. I was disgusted last year when the papers took the side of the police. Why? Because the police were the ones provoking the violence. Charging people, yanking sit down protesters from the ground and threatening them with batons. I wasn't aware that sitting down was a crime. The cops were obviously scared, tense and jumpy. At the first sign of disruption they would charge with their horses and/ or riot gear. I saw 6 cops go down on one man with their batons because he threw a stick (this after they had run us down the alleys and side streets of Oxford St and no one could get out, we were trapped in Mayfair for hours with no food, water, or toilets. People got a bit edgy).

Some protesters were being dicks and were there to cause trouble but the people who calmed them down were not the police but other protesters who reasoned with them. The police just used physical force, obviously reasoning with people would be too hard work.

We had a right to protest- do not take that for granted.It is vital, it is important and sometimes it is the only way to get a point across. No, we don't have a right to be violent and destroy businesses but there's obviously a reason why people are frustrated by Globalisation. If the government chooses to ignore this then they have it coming.

God Re-Floods the Middle East